Conversation about Camp

So. Tell me about camp.

Well. When we got there we walked to camp circle to meet our naturalists and what-are-they-called… the people who were supposed to watch us in the dorm.

The camp councilors?

Yes. We made nametags (showing me his) but mine had a crack in it so I had to make another one. And then we walked down to where the bus dropped us off and found our luggage and brought it to our dorms. After that we set-up and then we went to lunch. Then we went on a hike. Later we went to dinner and then we went on another hike. We got to go through a really cool manzanita maze. The manzanita was very smooth, some of the bark was stripping off- and in the middle of the maze there was a dead deer. There was only some of it left.

Did anybody know what happened to the deer?

No.

And then what happened?

We went back to our cabin and went to bed. I couldn’t brush my teeth because my shampoo bottle had exploded all over my toothbrush.

What happened yesterday?

We got up and went to breakfast. At breakfast my teacher pulled me aside and told me that I was in trouble.

Why were you in trouble?

Because she said I called (name) a fat terrorist, but I didn’t.

Who did you call a fat terrorist?

I didn’t call anybody a fat terrorist. I said that when kids are mean to me I think of the term ‘terrorist’. And that most of the people who are mean to me are fat. I was talking to (name) and the counsilor thought I called HIM a fat terrorist but I didn’t.

Why would you even speak aloud using the language “fat” or “terrorist”?

I don’t know. Most of the people who are mean to me are fat terrorists in my mind, and most of the mean kids I see on tv are fat terrorists.

You know this is inappropriate language right?

Yes.

So what happened next at camp?

I don’t remember. I think we had free time. But I had some of my free time taken away by the counsilors.

Why?

Because they thought I was doing things I wasn’t.

Did they see you do anything wrong?

No. But the other kids, who didn’t want me to do what they were doing, told them that I was doing bad things I wasn’t to get me in trouble.

So you are saying that you didn’t do anything that was bad enough to get sent home from camp?

No. When my teacher told me to do something once I argued with her. I thought she was punishing me when she told me to sit in the middle of the circle and I asked if I was being punished, so she punished me. And I was climbing into other people’s beds.

How did she punish you?

She made me sit out of the activites going on right then.

What were the counsilors like?

They were mean and lazy.

What do you mean lazy?

They just laid in their beds the whole time.

What do you mean they were mean?

They liked everyone else but me and (name). They yelled at me.

Did they yell or just speak angrily to you?

They spoke angrily.

Do you think you deserved them to be angry with you?

No. They thought I was getting into their stuff but I wasn’t. Other boys were. But I didn’t. They blamed me for doing things the other kids were doing.

Did they see you do any of these things?

No, they took the other kids word for it. The kids who hate me and call me retarded and stupid and an idiot. The kids who didn’t want me around. The only thing the counsilors saw me doing that I wasn’t supposed to is climb into other peoples beds. But other kids were doing it too. I was only doing what the other kids were doing. But I got in trouble and they didn’t. Because the counsilors liked them and didn’t like me.

After that, what happened?

We went on a hike. And then we had lunch. After lunch we played a game called camoflauge, where we had to hide from the naturalist. We had to be able to see her, but wasn’t supposed to be able to see us. Then she called the names of the people who survived. There was a point system, we were supposed to get five points or something like that and we didn’t so we only got to play the game one time.

And then, what happened?

Well, we went to dinner. And during dinner my teacher came and got me and we walked through the health office and onto a patio, where she told me I was going to go home.

Do you feel like it was fair or unfair that you got sent home?

I don’t know.

I want a fair or unfair answer.

I feel like it was unfair, but it was probably fair. (crying)

Do you feel like camp was a positive experience or a negative experience overall?

Positive, what I got to experience of it anyway.

You said that you got blamed for what other children were doing. What were they doing?

Well (name, name and name) were the ones who were going through the counsilors stuff. Not me. I just went in there to get a water bottle and I saw them doing it. I didn’t touch his stuff. But when the counsilor saw his stuff had been gone through, the other kids said I did it.

You didn’t touch it?

No. I didn’t. They just blamed me for what they did.

What do you mean they were going through his stuff?

They looked through all of the things he had in his bag. They wanted to know what some things were.

(I’m wondering why there would be any question as to what something in a camp counsilors bag is? These are sixth graders. Anyways, back to the convo.)

Why do you think they blamed you for what they did?

Because they didn’t want me around. When I tried to join in on whatever they were doing they wouldn’t let me.

How did they not let you?

They pushed me away and called me names.

What names?

Retard. Idiot. Stupid.

And they told you to get away?

Yeah.

Did any other kids get in trouble?

(name).

What did he do?

He did a lot of baaaaad stuff.

Like what?

Like stripping and running around the dorm naked. He got sent home.

(thinking)

First, the language you used was very inappropriate. And you mentioned tv. You have lost your tv priveledges for an undetermined amount of time. I caught you watching a show rated MA for mature audiences the other night and you tried to trick me, and then you tried to lie to me about it. Those shows are rated MA for a reason. They are not meant for children. You knew better. The kind of language used in these shows is not appropriate for young minds. You obviously are not making good choices when it comes to what kind of language you should be using in public. Or what type of TV you should be watching. So I need to make sure you aren’t being exposed to this kind of language or adult themed programs.

Ok.

Second, I find it hard to believe that you would be sent home based upon the word of other kids. It’s hard for me to think that your teacher and councilors would go to such an extent as to make us drive up to get you if they didn’t actually see or experience you misbehaving.

(silence)

I need you to be honest with me. I need for you to tell me what is really going on, what happened in entirety, for me to be able to help you. I’m on your side. But I can’t help you if I don’t understand what is going on with you. I need to be able to believe you when you tell me your version of the story. I can’t if you don’t tell me the whole story or you lie about it. You know I’ll be fair if I know the truth about your behavior, right?

Yes.

(silence)

How do you feel about school?

I hate it.

Why?

Because nobody likes me.

Do you think they should like you?

Yeah.

How do the other kids treat you?

They don’t want me around. When I come around they call me retarted or stupid.

Do you think you are retarded or stupid?

I think I’m stupid.

Why do you think you are stupid?

Because everyone else thinks I’m stupid.

What are you thinking when you get ready for school in the morning?

I’m thinking that I’m going to go to school and the kids are going to make fun of me, be mean to me or call me names. The only thing I’m excited about at school is market day. I don’t even care about the science fair this year.

How do you feel about yourself?

I feel like I’m everybody’s scapegoat.

Do you think you are a good person?

Yes.

Do you like yourself?

No.

What does that make you want to do?

It makes me want to run away.

Do you think running away will help?

Yes.

Why?

Because then I don’t have to feel like I don’t belong. Then I can not worry about people thinking I’m retarded, or calling me names, or being mean to me.

Do you want to go back to school?

No.

What do you want to do?

I don’t know.

How are you going to make friends if you don’t go to school?

I don’t have any friends at school. I only have enemies. And none of the adults at school care. They don’t care about me, and they won’t help me. Nobody listens to me.

How does that make you feel?

Very lonely.

How do you think your dad will feel if we decide to home school or change schools?

He’ll be very angry.

Is it worth making him very angry?

No.

You know he loves you right.

Yes.

He wants the best for you.

I know.

He’ll get over it. Don’t you think?

I don’t know.

It’s all going to be ok. Do you know that?

Yes.

Ok. Well I have some thinking to do. I want you to clean your room. Pick up the floor, clear off your shelves and dust them, I want this room spotless by the end of the day.

Ok.